Cleansing Fire and Water
by shimmer1
Summary: A little bit of Raye angst


** Title: Cleansing Fire and Water  
Author: shimmer  
Rating: G**

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. Naoko Takeuchi does. 

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Raye, priestess of the Cherry Hill shrine, Sailor Mars, was having a rotten, horrible, terrible day. 

The day had started out with a meeting with the other sailor scouts that had degenerated into a shouting match between her and Serena, complete with tongue duel. After they had left, Chad, who had been sweeping up outside, had asked, "Why do you fight with Serena all the time? I think she's kind of nice." A red haze had descended upon her vision at that point. Grabbing the broom from Chad she had started swinging and he had quickly made himself scarce. And Grandpa had been Grandpa. Even Phobos and Deimos, who usually comforted her, had stayed away from her. Raye had gotten so angry that she had thrown their corn up at where they sat at the top of the shrine. The corn had come back down off of the roof pelting her in a hard shower of kernels. 

Raye sat in front of the sacred fire. She didn't know what was wrong. She had spent the last half hour trying to concentrate and perform one of her regular rituals, communing with the flame, opening her mind up to visions. The fire has just smoldered sullenly, seemingly refusing to work. 

"Nothing is going right," Raye shouted as she slammed her fists into the ground. She turned away ready to leave when suddenly the flames leapt up. A face started to form in the sacred fire. "Oh no! A youma in the sacred fire," thought Raye. Faces didn't just appear without being summoned. She started fumbling in her robes for her transformation pen when a voice spoke from the flame, "You don't need that Raye dear." The voice, soft, female and familiar. She hadn't heard it in so many years. "Mother...?" 

The tongues of fire coalesced some more to form a face that had Raye reaching out towards it. She snatched her hand back quickly from the heat. 

"Careful dear, just because you're the sailor scout of fire doesn't mean you can't get burned." 

"How do you know about my being Sailor Mars?" 

"I know what goes on, I can see whatever is happening in your life." 

Raye sat back on her heels. The shock of speaking to her mother beginning to wear off. Her mind whirled with questions. But the most important one came first. "Why have you never appeared before?" 

Her mother's gentle voice answered, "You have never needed me so much before. I came because you are letting bitterness eat up your soul." 

"I was just having a really bad day." Raye was defensive. 

"No, it's more than that. You are not letting go of all the hurt and anger. It's beginning to poison you. And you're driving your friends away." 

Raye belligerently replied, "They're just going to have to deal with it. And if they can't accept me the way that I am, well, too bad." 

Her mother's voice and the sacred fire flared up. "You're letting jealousy get in the way of friendship." 

She could feel tears well up in her eyes. "Darien was mine and then this stupid destiny thing got in the way!" 

Her mother's voice gentled again. 

"Serena and Darien's destiny is so strong that it amazes us on the other side. You and Darien were never meant to be. You were just drawn together by loneliness. Each of you would have stayed locked inside that loneliness and it wouldn't have lasted. Haven't you noticed that they are yin and yang? They complete each other. Serena needs Darien to center her and Darien needs Serena's joy of life." 

Raye had to admit the truth of what her mother said. Meatball head was calmer whenever Darien was around (the only time she lived up to her name of Serena) and Darien was more human whenever Serena was around. 

Tears began to slide down Raye's cheeks, "Oh, mother, I've been so lonely since you went away. Why did you leave? And dad is never around." 

"Raye, you, a priestess, of all people, should be able to answer that question." 

"It's different telling people what to believe, and living it." 

"Have a little more faith. Talk to your grandfather, he really is there for you, and you might be surprised at his depths." 

The fire seemed to sigh. 

"And as for your father ... Serena and Darien aren't the only two people tied together by a red string of destiny. Have you looked into the mirror recently?" Raye had the grace to blush. "Every time he looks at you he sees me, and it hurts. So he buries himself in his job and stays away." 

Raye cried out to the fire that was her mother, "What about me? Is there someone out there for me?" 

"Look into your heart and make peace with yourself, then you will see and feel more clearly." The fire started to die down. "Remember Raye, I am always with you." The flames whispered, "I love you." 

"Mother, don't go!" Raye cried out desperately. But the fire no longer responded. Laying her head into her hands, Raye began to sob, huge sobs that shook her body. "I love you, too." 

She didn't know how long she cried or when she had laid down next to the fire. She seemed to fallen into a light doze when she heard a soft knock. 

"Uh, Raye ..., would you like something to eat? I, uh, noticed that you didn't have any dinner." Chad timidly inquired through the door. 

Raye wiped her tears, they were mostly dry, and sniffed. She felt lighter and better than she had in a long time. Amazingly, even after she had chased him away with a broom Chad didn't bear a grudge. She called back through the door, "Sure, why don't you start a pot of tea and I'll be along in a few minutes." Chad hurried off. 

Chad's a weirdo, but, kind of nice, she mused to herself. Getting to her feet, Raye straightened her robes and before turning to head towards the kitchen, she bowed to the sacred fire. 

"Mother, thank you." 

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My first fanfic. Tell me what you think. Thanks for reading. 


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